Patrick McEvoy


Patrick McEvoy


Biography

Notes and Observations upon the Singularly Interesting Matter of Patrick McEvoy

(From a notebook found recently amongst the disinterred remains of a vagrant in Seattle, Washington.)

1906, San Francisco

A pound of salt, a length of twine, two 1900 silver dollars, a black human tongue, and (perhaps the most interestingly), a single tail feather from an extinct Chatham Islands Raven. These were the only items remaining in the room where Patrick McEvoy was last seen by confirmed, eyewitness accounts. While the local constabulary was able to piece together several theories as to his mysterious disappearance, it remains that none of them were capable of accounting for the fact that the room was locked and bolted from the inside at the time of the event. Unfortunately for posterity, (although perhaps fortunate for Humanity at large) the Great Quake of 1906 occurred just days after McEvoy vanished, and all evidence of his passing was lost in the ensuing fire. Although it seems certain that this was, in fact, the end of McEvoy’s “life” (if one such as he can be said to have ever really “lived” at all), there have since been several tantalizing clues which, though not yet conclusive, paint a singularly disturbing picture of a soul whose eternal rest has been anything but peaceful.

1924, Budapest

A 12-year-old girl inflicted with stigmata repeats McEvoy’s name 39 times before being strangled to death by an attending priest.

1945, Berlin

Several Red Army soldiers, advancing on the last, desperate remnants of the SS, report seeing a man walking though the bomb-ravaged streets carrying a head which could only be that of McEvoy. The man carrying the severed member calmly asks them if they happen to be carrying a Bible. When one of the startled soldiers finally gathers the wits to reply “no”, the man mumbles “how unfortunate”, before bursting into flames.

1977, Washington DC

A young reporter who had been reviewing video tapes of the fall of Saigon calls his editor with news of a strange discovery. A figure bearing the likeness of the now legendary McEvoy can be seen in 24 frames, apparently walking out of a burning building, unaffected by the fire. Unfortunately, before the reporter can confirm his find, both he and the video (of which this was the only copy) are consumed by a mysterious explosion, apparently caused by a gas leak.

2010, (location redacted)

McEvoy’s precise whereabouts are currently unknown, but his continued existence is now all but confirmed. Aside from producing the art for a Graphic Novel (titled, ominously, “Starkweather: Immortal“), and various other commercial art for clients such as Marvel, Sony, Blizzard and Wizards of the Coast, a child was born in San Paulo bearing a birth mark of his face, while the McEvoy River in Central Ireland ran backwards for a full three hours, and all the fish within it turned blood red. These signs can only lead to one dire conclusion: that

(Here, the record ends suddenly. We invite interested readers to send any further information to this publisher immediately.)

 

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